


How to Launch a Turian

by GraphiteGirl



Series: The Hand Signals Universe [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Earthborn (Mass Effect), Friendship, Gen, Pre-Relationship, garrus is an idiot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 17:59:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8499724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraphiteGirl/pseuds/GraphiteGirl
Summary: All that was preventing Shepard and Vakarian from becoming friends was his arrogance, his immaturity and his inability to shut up. Starts early in Mass Effect, during the "Expose Saren" mission.  Rated M for language. Bioware owns all/legal boilerplate blah blah blah.I have a new beta, BubblegumQuasar, but sometimes I ignore her wise counsel. Any typos, questionable word choices or stylistic flubs are mine, all mine. Oh, and uh, Happy N7 day!





	1. Chapter 1

Maria Shepard had known Garrus Vakarian less than three hours, and already the smug bastard was on her very last nerve.

 

First, there was his headshot of the thug using Dr. Michel as a meat shield. “What were you _thinking_?” she'd yelled at the young cop. “You could have hit the hostage!”

 

Vakarian had blinked at her, mandibles slack with the apparently novel realization that shooting the bad guy just inches away from the hostage might not qualify as good policing.

 

While Garrus had stammered an apology to the shaken doctor, Maria used her toe to nudge the head of the dead merc lying on the ground.

 

There was a neat, tiny hole in the man's temple. The lack of an exit wound indicated low-caliber ammo. High caliber ammo would have exited the skull, probably at a different trajectory, and continued on its way until it hit something or someone else. Vakarian's shot had stayed inside the skull of its intended victim. _Hell of a shot_ , she'd thought, impressed despite her irritation. _I guess that's something._

 

Still, Shepard hadn't been inclined to grant Vakarian's impassioned plea to help her take down Saren. She had a reflexive distrust of cops and the one in front of her was raising a lot of red flags. _Reckless_ , she'd thought. _Argumentative_. _Spoiling for a fight_. Her brain was telling her to turn him down.

 

But—and there was always a "but"—her instincts told her to bring him along. Shepard had learned the hard way to never ignore her instincts, especially when she wanted to.

 

“Welcome aboard, Garrus,” she'd said.

 

They shook hands, much to the poorly-disguised disgust of Ashley Williams. Shepard sent her gunnery chief to go run errands.

 

It was a good call. Ashley would have sucker-punched Vakarian within 5 minutes.

 

It started in the elevator. Shepard and Alenko were comparing notes on their biotic implants. Alenko was one of a handful of “successful” L2 implants. His biotics were extremely powerful but migraines occasionally sidelined him from combat. Shepard was an L3. She didn't experience any side effects but her biotics weren't as strong.

 

Garrus wasn't a human. He wasn't a biotic. He hadn't been on Shepard's ground team for more than ten minutes.

 

Naturally, he had an opinion to share.

 

“Hu _man_ ity will be judged by the sacrifices its people are willing to make, Lieutenant,” he said imperiously. “The _turians_ would have _kept_ the L2 implants.”

 

Alenko didn't say anything, he just clenched his jaw. Within minutes, he was pressing his fingertips into his forehead. Shepard sent him back to the ship as soon as they'd recruited Wrex.

 

Vakarian managed to wait a whole half-hour before he offended Wrex about the genophage. Garrus stood with his arms crossed, head tilted arrogantly to one side as he talked down to the krogan. Wrex looked like he'd wanted to chuck Garrus into the lake.

 

As they made their way around the Citadel, Shepard began to seriously question her instincts. Vakarian might be a good shot but he was also obtuse, entitled, and dismissive of everyone's opinion but his own.

 

Then they walked into the ambush at Chora's Den.

 

Shepard threw a grenade; Vakarian gave suppressing fire so hostiles couldn't escape its blast. She Lifted targets out of cover; Vakarian put bullets in their heads. Two mercs tried to flank Garrus; Shepard pulled them into a Singularity. A krogan bouncer charged them; they stood side by side, firing their pistols in unison, neither of them flinching, until the body slid to a halt at their feet.

 

Shepard didn't need to tell Garrus to Overload the turrets, he just knew. When the quarian girl unexpectedly tossed a grenade towards Saren's thugs, Garrus was already moving to cover.

 

Over 30 hostiles in close quarters combat and she hadn't used a single application of Medi-gel.

 

As they headed towards the embassies with Tali Z'orah in tow, Shepard found herself beaming. She'd been a soldier for over 11 years—longer, if you counted her time with the Reds—and she'd _never_ worked with anybody as seamlessly in battle as she just had with this turian cop. It was like they saw the battlefield with the same eyes.

 

She glanced at him to find him watching her, his blue eyes crinkled in happiness. For just a moment, she basked in something that came disturbingly close to the afterglow of really good sex.

 

Then he'd started talking again. It was like he couldn't help himself.

  
  


“The quarians endangered the entire galaxy when they let the geth break free,” he'd lectured as they stepped off the elevator, his eyes half-closed with self-importance. “I hope your people are properly contrite, Tali.”

  
  


_Fuck this_ , she thought. Alenko and Wrex didn't need her to fight their battles but Tali was no soldier. Hell, Tali barely an adult.

  
  


“Vakarian!” Shepard planted herself in front of him, forcing the group to come to an abrupt halt. “Shut. Up.”

  
  


“Excuse me?” he asked her, offended.

  
  


“That girl right there,” Shepard said, pointing at Tali, “ _Just. Solved. Your. Case_. The proper response is to say, 'thank you,' not lecture her about something her ancestors did.”

  
  


“Her ancestors started a war, Commander,” he responded. “Her people need to show the rest of the galaxy that they've learned some restraint from it.”

  
  


“Are you serious? Your own people started a war with mine less than thirty years ago.”

  
  


Garrus crossed him arms and looked down at her. “Activating those relays was against Council law, Commander,” he drawled. His tone was one of exaggerated patience, like she was an unreasonable toddler.

  
“Violating first contact protocols was against Council law, too,” Shepard shot back, as she started ticking off her fingers. “The Turians didn't attempt any communications with us. They didn't hail our ships or send data packets. They didn't notify the Council. They didn't even broadcast so much as a warning. They just _opened fire on a new, clearly sentient species_.”

  
  


Shepard started poking Garrus in the chest, forcing him to drop his arms to his sides. “I've known you less than half a day, and in that time, you've endangered the life of a hostage, picked a fight with a krogan warlord, scolded the witness that solved your case, and shoved your stupid opinions down everybody's throats.

  
  


“So before we go one step further, you tell me,” she said, staring him down, “how do _you_ plan to show the rest of the galaxy that you've learned some restraint?”

  
  


Garrus' mouth was open so wide that Shepard could see every single taste bud on his stupid blue tongue.

  
  


After a long silence, Garrus closed his jaws, stood at parade rest and said, “I apologize, Commander. I was out of line.”

  
  


“Yes. You were. But that wasn't what I asked. What I asked, Officer Vakarian, was, 'how do you plan to show the rest of the galaxy that you've learned some restraint?'”

  
  


“By following your orders, Commander.”

  
  


It wasn't the answer she was looking for. She'd been hoping he'd apologize to Tali but she didn't have time to referee between egos. “Well, it's a start. Move out, people.”

  
  


The meeting with Udina and Anderson improved her mood. Listening to Tali's audio took 10 years off of Anderson's face. And for all that Udina was an oily, lying, two-faced crapsack, he was good at getting an audience with the Council on short notice.

  
  


Tali left with Udina and Anderson, since it was her evidence being presented. “Meet us in the Council Chambers, Shepard,” Anderson ordered before he walked out of the office. “Bring whomever you like. You have one hour.”

  
  


Shepard found herself standing in the Embassy Office with just Wrex and Vakarian. “Well,” Shepard asked them, “are you coming?”

  
  


“Why not?” Wrex grumbled. “Never much liked Saren.”

  
  


“Me, neither,” Shepard grinned. “Vakarian? You in?”

  
  


His mandibles flared in surprise. “I, uh, didn't think you'd want me along, Commander.”

  
  


“I don't, honestly,” Shepard said, “but I give credit where credit is due. You stood firm when your boss shut you down. You led me to Wrex. You tore it up at Chora's Den. You helped me get to Tali in time. If anybody has earned the right to see Saren disgraced before the Council, it's you.”

  
  


“Then yes, Commander. I'd like to accompany you.” Something was going on in his subvocals that she couldn't catch. The nuances of turian harmonics were still a mystery to her.

  
  


As their cab sped towards the Council Chambers, Garrus stared out the window, mandibles pulled tightly against his face. “Commander, about the things I said earlier, I--”

  
  


“Quit while you're ahead, Vakarian.”

  
  


“Yes, ma'am,” he sighed.

  
  


 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus pleads his case.

 

Garrus Vakarian stood at parade rest as he watched the Council induct the first human Spectre.  


He wouldn't lie to himself; he was jealous. Here was a person—a human, no less—who was everything Garrus had ever wanted to be. Two days, she'd been on the Citadel. _Two days_. She'd accomplished more in two days than he had in all his years at C-Sec.

  
Jealous or not, though, he wanted to fight beside her again. Shepard's biotics might not be as strong as an asari, but she recharged so fast it hardly mattered. She used dark energy like another member of the ground team. _Go flush that guy out of cover. Hold that hostile in place. Get that table out of the way._

  
At Chora's Den, it felt like all the tumblers of a lock falling into place. For the first time in his life, he had been exactly where he was supposed to be. He'd _fit_.

 

Then he'd ruined it by just being himself.

  
While the Council droned on and on about what an honor it was to be a Spectre, Garrus mentally kicked himself for every stupid thing that had come out of his mouth that day. The more he thought about it, the worse he felt.

  
When the induction ceremony was over, Shepard formally asked Tali and Wrex to join her crew. “Go make whatever arrangements you need to,” she said to them. “I'll ping you details as they become available.” The krogan and the quarian went their separate ways.

  
Shepard turned to him. He prepared himself for her dismissal. _Be professional_ , he told himself. _Don't argue. Leave with your dignity intact._

  
“Any good levo-dextro restaurants around here?”

  
The question threw him for a moment before he recovered. “Oh! Uh, yeah. Several, actually.”

  
“Good. Pick something cheap and get us there. We need to talk.”

  
“Talk,” he restated, still flustered. “About what?”

  
“Not a damn thing until I've had some calories. I overtaxed my biotics. Let's go.”

  
Garrus chose a hole-in-the-wall on Zakera Ward that was popular with the C-Sec rank and file. As soon as the cab door closed, Shepard buckled her seat belt and said, “Wake me when we get there.” She folded her arms across her chest and fell asleep.

  
At first, he worried she was faking it in an attempt to avoid talking to him. But no, his visor showed her heart rate and breathing had slowed, and her body temperature had lowered slightly.

  
He studied her. She was short, even for her species. She wasn't scrawny, but neither did she have the broad musculature of her gunnery chief, or the curves of Dr. Michel.

  
Humans varied in color as much as turians. Commander Shepard's skin was dark brown. She had the freckles on her cheeks that some humans were prone to. Her hair was black, glossy, and short. It stuck out like little twigs around her face.

  
A ragged scar ran across her cheek and over her chin. _Serrated knife_ , his training told him. _Old wound. Poorly healed. She got that before she'd finished growing_.

  
Garrus frowned at what that implied.

  
The basics of Shepard's life were public record. The hero of Elysium grew up an orphan on Earth. She joined the Alliance when she came of age. A career of rapid advancement. The Blitz. N7.

  
Still, the Alliance was well-known for sanitizing the information they made public. Citadel Security usually had files on important visitors to the Citadel. He used his visor to access what C-Sec had on her.

  
Shepard's file wasn't just restricted; it was classified. He could still get to it—he had the security clearance—but that it was classified at all came as a surprise. _What is the Alliance hiding about her?_

  
He tapped in his passcode and read the report.

***

 **Subject:** Maria Shepard, Commander, Systems Alliance Navy.

 **Species:** Human.

 **Gender:** Female.

 **Planet of origin:** Earth, Sol System.

 **Date of birth:** Sol date 11 April, 2154.

 **Known political allegiances:** Systems Alliance.

 **Criminal history:** Yes. See narrative, _infra_ , for further details.

 **Biotic capabilities:** Yes. See narrative, _infra_ , for further details.

 **Education:** None.

 **Summary** : Commander Shepard is deeply loyal to the Alliance and protective of her crew- members. Her military service has been nothing short of exemplary. Although lacking in any formal education, she is highly intelligent, with superior tactical skills and natural leadership abilities.

 **History:** Shepard was abandoned at an orphanage in the Sol city of Los Angeles just hours after her birth. She was named “Jean Doe.” The religious women who ran the orphanage appeared fond of her, noting her ability to read by the age of two. They described Doe as “helpful” and “a happy child.”

At age five, Doe was placed with a foster couple with the hope that it would lead to her eventual adoption. The couple immediately dropped out of contact. Attempts to find them were unsuccessful.

Three years later, Doe reappeared at the orphanage in a state of extreme dehydration and malnutrition. Her body was covered in lesions, contusions, and lacerations.

Law enforcement discovered that the couple posing as foster parents were in fact human traffickers. They had sold Doe to a man who spent the next three years subjecting her to systematic abuse.

Doe told investigators that she escaped when her abuser forgot to lock her cage, allowing her to sneak out of the house. She traveled for several days on foot to return to the orphanage.

Police raided the man's home but he had already fled. The evidence in the house corroborated Doe's version of events.

Doe recovered at the orphanage but ran away when she was informed the state intended to return her to foster care. She resurfaced six years later at the age of 14, when she and hundreds of others were admitted to hospitals in Tijuana for eezo poisoning, victims of an industrial accident.

Doe had no explanation for why she was in Tijuana. Hospital records indicate that Doe bore tattoos consistent with membership in the Reds, a criminal syndicate that ran drug and smuggling operations in the Western Hemisphere of Earth.

She disappeared from the hospital before her treatment was complete.

 **Criminal record:** Doe was arrested in Fresno, California at the age of 17. Law enforcement, responding to calls, found Doe using her biotics to suspend her alleged former abuser outside the balcony of his fifth story apartment. An inexperienced officer ordered, “Let him go!” Doe complied and released her alleged former abuser. He died on impact.

Police entered the apartment and found Doe comforting a human female child, age 7, who had been missing from foster care for over a year.

Doe was charged with aggravated assault and murder. Her court appointed lawyer contacted the Alliance not long after meeting with her, likely to notify them about Doe's biotic capabilities and to negotiate a plea bargain.

All charges were dropped. On her 18th birthday, she legally changed her name to Maria Shepard and enlisted with the Alliance. Shortly thereafter, she received her L3 biotic implant.

 **Gang activity:** Shepard neither flaunts nor hides her former affiliation with the Reds. She has reported publicly that she used to be a “runner” for the gang. She appears to have no loyalty towards her former gang members. Given the circumstances of her childhood, she likely saw the Reds as a means of survival and nothing more.

 **Vice:** Shepard has no known vices or addictions.

 **Assets and Debits:** Shepard has no debt. She does not own any real property. Personal property appears to be limited to a few personal belongings and her pay from the Alliance.

 **Marital/sexual status:** She is currently single. Her sexual orientation is unknown. She has no record of any sexual partners since reaching the age of majority. Her sexual history prior to joining the Alliance is unknown, although it can be inferred that she suffered sexual abuse as a child.

 **Threat assessment:** Neutral. While there is little doubt that Shepard is a dangerous person with extraordinary capabilities, she does not appear to pose any direct threat to the Council, or to its member races. Risk of corruption appears low, as there is little in Shepard's life that would subject her to blackmail or outside pressure.

* * *  


He tapped his visor to turn off the search function.

Garrus was the son of privilege and he knew it. He carried an old, prestigious family name. He'd been given the best education and the best military training the galaxy had to offer. He'd been blessed with high intelligence, good looks, and a sharp eye. He'd never gone hungry, never been homeless. And even though he'd struggled with feeling worthy of his father's expectations, never once had he felt unloved or unwanted.

Yet for all his advantages, he was stuck in a life where decisions were made for him. Most days, he felt powerless to do the right thing.

  
Shepard, on the other hand, had made the decision at the age of eight— _eight!_ —to take her fate into her own hands, rather than risk going back into a system that failed to protect her. She survived eezo poisoning. After evading the law for nearly a decade, she made a rather obvious display of her biotics and allowed herself to be captured in order to protect another innocent.

  
When the cab stopped, he cleared his throat. “Commander? We're here.” Shepard opened her eyes, glanced out the window and nodded. She yawned as they walked into the restaurant.

  
The asari server knew Garrus on sight, and sat them in his favorite booth towards the back. He spoke with the server briefly, then sat down across the booth from Shepard. “I took the liberty of ordering drinks,” he said.

Shepard was annoyed. “What is this, a date? Goddammit, I don't need help ordering my own—oh my god, is that cream soda?” The asari server had just placed two large frosted mugs in front of the Commander and a turian tea in front of Garrus. Shepard pulled a mug to her mouth, closed her eyes and started drinking.

  
“Biotic?” the asari asked knowingly. Shepard nodded as she drained the mug.

 

After they had placed their orders—and Shepard had started in on her second cream soda—she sighed and said, “All right, C-Sec, time for a little Q & A. How old are you?”

  
“Twenty-seven.”

  
“How long were you in the military?”

  
“Six years.”

  
“Which branch?”

  
“Navy.”

  
“What was the highest rank you achieved?”

  
“Lieutenant.”

  
“Any specialties?”

  
“Hand to hand, sniper, tech.”

  
“Did you ever have your own command?”

  
“No.”

  
“Really? Not even ground missions?”

  
“No,” Garrus shifted uncomfortably. This was a sore spot for him. He didn't like to talk about it.

 

“After you left, did you go straight to C-Sec?”

  
“Yes.”

  
“Why C-Sec?”

  
“Do you want the long answer or the short answer?”

  
“Short answer will do for now.”

  
“It appealed to some of my ideals while keeping my father happy.”

  
“Hmm. There's a story there, I take it?” she asked. Garrus reluctantly nodded.

  
“Interesting. How long have you been with C-Sec?”

  
“Six years, almost seven.”

  
“How long did it take you to make detective?”

  
“Two years.” His mandibles flared a little with pride. He'd made detective even faster than his father had.

  
“Well, aren't you the quick study. And how many times have you been written up for insubordination, Detective?”

  
Garrus cleared his throat. “Several times.”

  
Their food arrived. Shepard stopped talking long enough for their plates to be set before them. She picked up a fork and asked, “Do you want to come with me to hunt for Saren?”

  
“More than anything,” Garrus answered fervently. Working with one Spectre to hunt down another? Getting away from C-Sec? No rules and regulations standing in the way? Going into battle with Shepard again?

  
They ate for a few minutes in comfortable silence. Shepard made quick work of her meal. When she was finished, she ordered dessert and coffee. Then she leaned back in her side of the booth and propped her booted feet up on the seat next to Garrus. Her casual invasion of his personal space offended him, but kept his mouth shut. For once.

  
“All right, Vakarian, let me explain my dilemma.”

  
Shepard held out her right hand. “On the one hand, every experience I've ever had with command tells me that you're more trouble than you're worth. When I met you, you were telling your boss how to do his job. You also managed to piss off _every_ member of _every_ species on _every_ ground team I put together today, including me. There's no way around the fact that you're kind of a dick.”

  
Garrus opened his mouth to argue, but she cut him off. “Don't interrupt me, I'm not done yet. On the other hand,” she held out her left hand, “on the other hand, every instinct in my body is telling me to bring you with me.”

  
He closed his mouth and dared to hope.

  
“My _experience_ ,” and here she moved her right hand a little, as if she was weighing something, “told me to leave you at the Med clinic. My _instinct_ ,” she did the same movement with her left hand, “told me to bring you along.”

  
She folded her hands together and studied them carefully. “It is entirely possible that if I'd ignored my instincts, I'd have still found Tali in time to save her life and get her evidence before the Council. But if I'd done that,” she raised her dark brown eyes from her clasped hands to meet his gaze, “if I'd ignored my instincts, I would have never had the chance to fight with you at my side today. And fighting with you was just...”

  
“Effortless,” he finished the sentence for her, surprised at the emotion that had welled up in him.

  
“Yes,” she said quietly. “I've never known anything like it.”

  
“Neither have I,” he admitted, and for a moment, he knew they were both feeling an echo of that connection from Chora's Den.

  
The waitress broke the spell when she delivered Shepard's dessert and coffee and cleared their dinner plates. Once they were alone again, Shepard said, “So tell me, Vakarian—how do I solve my dilemma?”

  
“You don't,” he told her. “I do.”

  
A smile tugged at her lips as she blew on her coffee. She said nothing but just looked at him, waiting for him to explain himself.

  
Garrus shook his head ruefully. “I spent most of your induction ceremony wishing I could go back in time and un-say everything I said today. You have my word that I'll think before I speak. I'll keep the turian superiority complex in check. I will follow your orders. If I don't, dump me back here on the Citadel along with a detailed list of all of my infractions. With my reputation, nobody will think less of you for losing patience with me.”

  
“Maybe not,” she admitted, “but they may question my judgment for bringing you along in the first place.”

  
“Commander, you're a human. You're a Spectre. You loudly and openly warned the Council about an ancient race of sentient machines that wants to kill us all. You've invited a quarian and a krogan onto your cutting-edge frigate. I'd say your judgment is already being questioned.”

  
Shepard barked out a laugh, a real one. “True enough. Well, fuck it, I'm going with my instincts. Welcome to the Normandy crew, Garrus.”

  
They shook hands and Garrus' mandibles flared in happiness. “You won't regret this, Commander.”

  
“See that I don't,” Shepard said, only half-joking. “I can take you.”

  


  


 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing says, "I'm a galactic badass," like personnel files.

Shepard and Garrus made small talk over dessert until her omnitool pinged. She checked the message. “Time to bug out,” she said. “Anderson needs me at the docking bay. You might as well come with. I expect he's got our assignment.”

 

Anderson and Udina stood outside the Normandy. Anderson's expression was serene. Udina looked like he was passing a kidney stone

 

Anderson explained what Shepard needed to do. Then he said, “The Normandy's yours,” as if turning over a state-of-the-art frigate and its entire crew was no different than a dad giving his kid the keys to the family car.

 

It took everything Shepard had not to ask Anderson to reconsider. He was her mentor, and one of the few people she could trust. His guidance steadied her.

 

But she wouldn't second-guess him, especially not in front of Udina. Anderson wouldn't have suggested it unless he thought it was the right thing to do.

 

As Anderson and Udina headed back to the Presidium, Shepard stood in the docking bay, thinking about the next steps. She needed talk to Pressly, Chakwas, and Joker, she needed to check in with the ground team and...she noticed Vakarian, still patiently waiting off to the side. She'd honestly forgotten he was there.

 

“Vakarian.”

 

“Ma'am?”

 

“Think your boss is still in his office?”

 

“Pallin?” Vakarian checked his omni-tool. “He's still there, Commander.”

 

“Good. I'll go take care of your transfer. You don't have an official Alliance rank, but you're an officer on the Normandy and a member of the ground team. The officer staterooms are tiny, even for humans. Nihlus hated his, so he bunked in the cargo bay. Feel free to do the same.” She closed her eyes briefly at the thought of Nihlus' death. Had it really been less than a week since Eden Prime?

 

“Thank you, Commander,” Vakarian said. He hesitated for a moment, then asked, “Were you and Nihlus close?”

 

Shepard opened her eyes at the question. “No. I barely got to know him. He was shot in the back on our first mission together.”

 

“Saren shot Nihlus in the back?” Garrus asked, not bothering to hide his shock. “I just assumed it had been a firefight that got out of hand or something. That's just...Saren was Nihlus' _mentor._ ”

 

“That explains a lot,” Shepard said bitterly. “The witness said that Nihlus let his guard down around Saren. I saw Nihlus' body myself. He never saw it coming.”

 

Maria shook her head, then started walking towards the elevator that took them back to C-Sec. Garrus followed her as she issued her orders. "First, coordinate with Tali about a requisition list of dextro rations for the both of you. Second, send me your resume or CV or whatever you have that shows a current breakdown of your skill set.”

 

Garrus nodded and started typing on his own omni-tool. “Third,” she continued, “pack one footlocker with whatever you'll need for extended leave. Bring any weapons or mods that you think will give you an edge, even if they aren't, ah, strictly legal in Council space.”

 

Vakarian stopped typing and tilted his head at her. “Now, Commander,” he said coyly, “why would you think I'd own anything like that?”

 

“ _Please_ ,” she snorted. “That head-shot of yours in the clinic? Low-caliber ammo, designed to stay inside the skull. If you'd hit his arm, it would have barely qualified as a flesh wound. Instead, I bet your projectile bounced around his brainpan and turned everything to soup before he'd even hit the ground.”

 

She indicated the pistol on Vakarian's hip. “That's a standard-issue C-Sec sidearm. No _way_ C-Sec trains its officers to shoot hostiles in the head, with pistols, when a hostage is being used as a meat shield. You've got a mod on that thing. Unless you want me to believe that every C-Sec officer is as good a shot as you?”

 

Vakarian scoffed at the very suggestion.

 

“That's what I thought,” she grinned. “Anyway, bring whatever you think will help. I want you and Gunnery Chief Williams working together to find any advantage possible. Be on the Normandy by 0800 tomorrow.” They parted ways once they got to C-Sec, Garrus practically bouncing out of the elevator with excitement.

 

Shepard took a cab to the Presidium. On the way, she pinged her orders to Tali and Wrex. She also asked Tali to send her a list of her skills, much like she had with Garrus. Wrex didn't seem the type to have a resume, so she didn't ask.

 

Finally, she updated Pressly and asked for a 0600 meeting with the senior officers.

 

Shepard walked into Executor Pallin's office. The one time she'd spoken with him, Pallin had made it clear he that didn't like humans in general, and he didn't like Spectres at all. Now she was both. His eyes followed her as she sat in the chair without waiting to be asked.

 

“Why is the Council's new pet in my office?” he grumbled.

 

Shepard ignored the insult and opened her omni-tool. “Garrus Vakarian is coming with me on my mission,” she said. “Here are his transfer orders.”

 

Pallin didn't miss a beat. “And here I was expecting you to file a complaint about him. No fewer than six of my officers witnessed you shouting at him earlier today.”

 

Shepard shrugged. “He had it coming.”

 

“Oh, I don't doubt it,” Pallin said sardonically. “He's a good officer, but he's impatient and thinks the rules don't apply to him. If it were anybody else, I'd be filing a complaint with your ambassador for treating a C-Sec officer with such disrespect. But since it's Vakarian...I think the human phrase is, 'Have fun with that.'”

 

“I plan to. He's a hell of a shot. But you're right,” Shepard said seriously, “he's too impatient and he hasn't learned how to pick his battles. How many times does the phrase 'Vakarian has potential, but...” appear in his personnel files?”

 

“Frequently. _Very_ frequently,” Pallid replied, not sounding the least bit sorry that Vakarian's insubordination was now Shepard's problem.

 

“Well, it should make for interesting reading. I need his records forwarded to the Normandy right away, please. Authorizations are in the orders I brought with me.”

 

Pallin clacked his mandible against his jaw, irritated. “‘Right away?’ You humans are so arrogant. You really expect me to simply drop everything and do your bidding, don't you?”

 

Shepard held his gaze and let the silence stretch out to the point of being uncomfortable. “I'm preparing for a Council mission, Executor. Do you really think coming here to demand a single personnel file from you is the best use of my time?”

 

“Nobody made you come here, Spectre,” Pallin said, annoyed. “You could have easily sent the orders through normal channels.”

 

“And if I were a member of a Council race, that's exactly what I would have done. You might not have liked being told to 'drop everything to do my bidding,' but I have no doubt that you'd have done it.”

 

Shepard leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees. “But an order from the first human Spectre would be an awfully tempting thing to ignore. Or delay. Or lose altogether. Teach those humans their place among their betters, am I right, Executor?”

 

Pallin just glared at her. She looked back impassively. He looked away first.

 

Shepard stood up. “I'm not here in my capacity as a human, Executor. I'm here as a Council Spectre. I showed up in person to remind you of that fact.”

 

As she turned to walk away, Pallin started typing into his desk's interface. “I'm sending his records now. Best of luck getting Vakarian to follow orders.”

 

“My crew always follows my orders,” she said as she headed out the door, “I don't need luck for that.”

 

* * *

 

Back on the Normandy, she headed towards her old quarters before remembering that she was in the Captain's cabin now. Somebody had already moved her footlocker in. She unpacked, showered and got into sweats and a tee. She checked her email, then forwarded Garrus' and Tali's list of dextro rations to the requisitions officer.

 

She also used credits from her new Spectre stipend to request an upgrade for the coffee maker in the Mess.

 

Then she did as much research as she could into her ground team.

 

**Alenko, Kaidan—Alliance Marine**

 

Anderson had selected Alenko to be the Staff Lieutenant in charge of the Marine contingent for the Normandy. Shepard looked at his last few tours of duty:

 

2179 SSV Fuji: Staff Lieutenant.

2181 SSV Winnipeg: Staff Lieutenant.

2182 SSV Aldrin: Staff Lieutenant.

 

It was like Kaidan had risen to middle management and decided to park himself there.

 

She learned that Alenko was an only child from an upper-class family in Vancouver. He was identified as a biotic at the age of 17. His timeline was suspiciously empty until he joined the Alliance five years later. _Classified,_ she guessed.

 

He joined the Alliance at age 22, later than most. Like most L2s, his medical file was part of his personnel file. Kaidan may have dismissed his own side effects as “just” migraines, but his medical history made it clear that he routinely coped with an immense amount of pain. He had built up such a resistance to narcotics that he no longer bothered to take them.

 

A lot of what she read about his service seemed to fit with her own observations so far. Commanding officers generally spoke well of him. “Steady under fire.” “An ideal Sentinel biotic.” “Highly effective in combat.” “Insightful.” However, they were all puzzled by Kaidan's reticence to lead. “Reluctant to fully commit.” “Lacks initiative.” “Overly cautious.”

 

One of his COs put it this way. “Lt. Alenko is an outstanding soldier in the field. He reads combat situations quickly, can adjust tactics when appropriate, and places his soldiers' safety as his highest priority. Off the field, however, Lt. Alenko deliberately avoids personal confrontations at all costs, sometimes to the detriment of squad cohesion.”

 

Shepard didn't doubt for one moment that if Kaidan wanted to go higher, he would. His Alliance record was spotless, he was politically savvy, and came from a good background. For some reason, he was holding himself back. Shepard suspected it had something to do with that five-year hole in his record.

 

**Urdnot, Wrex—Krogan Warlord**  
  


The Alliance had forwarded to her what little it could find on Wrex, which wasn't much. He'd been a clan leader in his youth, but had left after an unknown political upheaval. He'd been working as a freelance mercenary for at least the past 300 years. His fighting skills were legendary among his own people. The Alliance, with its usual gift for stating the obvious, recommended that Urdnot Wrex be “treated with the utmost caution.”

 

**Vakarian, Garrus—Turian Infiltrator**

 

Vakarian's own resume was a bit of a joke. He clearly hadn't updated it since he applied to work at C-Sec. It listed the barest of facts for his military service, nothing more.

 

In contrast, his personnel files were long and detailed.

 

The Hierarchy required 15 years of mandatory service from its citizens, beginning at age 15. It didn't have to be military service, but that's where most turians started.

 

Garrus enlisted within a month of his 15th birthday. He rocketed through boot camp, promptly wiping out all previously held training records for marksmanship, combat tactics, and hand to hand combat.

His trainers were impressed. “Best sniper I've ever seen.” “Impressive tactical skills.” “Excellent infiltrator.” “Executes complicated battle maneuvers without hesitation.”

 

He was assigned to a coveted special ops unit in the Fifth Assault Fleet as soon as he was out of boot camp. It was the beginning of what everyone expected to be a dazzling military career. And if there was an undercurrent of concern that Garrus seemed more argumentative and impatient than the average turian, it was written off as simple immaturity that would work itself out after experience in the field.

 

The expected tempering of his personality didn't happen. If anything, his belligerence got worse. He deviated from mission parameters without prior authorization. He questioned orders. He offered unwanted opinions on battle plans. An early performance review set the tone for his entire career:

 

“Without notice or authorization, Senior Serviceman Vakarian left his position and advanced to the southwest. He did not radio his new location and did not respond to hails, leading to the erroneous belief that he was down. It wasn't until several Batarian troops fell from sniper fire that Lt. Abruzo realized that Svc. Vakarian was indeed alive, but had changed position.

 

The enemy became confused by the new direction of attack. Lt. Abruzo's unit overran the facility. All hostiles were killed or captured.

 

Svc. Vakarian later reported that he had not asked his LT for clearance to switch positions because Lt. Abruzo would not have allowed it. He related that he ignored repeated hails because of his proximity to enemy troops.

 

This is not the first time Svc. Vakarian has engaged in unauthorized action. That his reckless behavior did not result in casualties to his unit is owed more to luck than to skill. Svc. Vakarian needs to realize he's here for the good of his unit, the Fleet, and the Hierarchy, not his own personal goals.”

 

 

Several reports made similar complaints. Shepard sympathized with the immense frustration of his superiors. Selective hearing was deadly in combat.

 

On the other hand, it was hard not to be impressed by Vakarian's nerve. By all accounts, he was one of the best combat soldiers in every unit he served in. He was ruthless, brave, and got results.

 

Still—being good at killing the enemy wasn't enough to overcome the eventual weight of repeated insubordination. After he was promoted to Lieutenant, he started pushing to have his own command, but:

 

“Lt. Vakarian was informed that until he learns how to follow orders, he will not be placed in any position to give them.”

 

Vakarian spent the rest of his military service stuck at LT. His skills certainly didn't go to waste. He was frequently sent on solo or small-team infiltration missions where improvisation was expected. But he was sent into front line combat less and less.

 

He also became remarkably proficient with tech during this time. Shepard guessed he was bored and needed something to occupy his time.

 

Through it all, Vakarian chafed at being held back. His last Captain mentioned that Garrus “has relentlessly badgered me for his own command.” Finally, as he was approaching the end of his 6th year of military service, the Captain recommended him for Spectre training. _Yeah, that's one way to get rid of a problem LT,_ she thought.

 

Instead of going to Spectre training, however, Vakarian went to C-Sec.

 

His C-Sec records were similar in tone to his military records. For as much as he frustrated the hell out of his superiors, it was clear that Garrus was damned good at his job. He'd solved several high-profile cases of his own. Still, several of his arrests resulted in charges being dropped because Vakarian had a tendency to skirt basic rules of evidence.

 

So, her new sniper had an enormous chip on his shoulder, no patience, and thought he was smarter than everybody else. Shepard rubbed her forehead and, once again, wondered if her instincts were steering her wrong.

 

 

**Williams, Ashley—Alliance soldier**

 

Ashley Williams' file made no goddamn sense.

A colony kid from a big family, Ashley enlisted as soon as she graduated high school. In short order, she was proficient in every weapon she could get her hands on. Shepard raised an eyebrow at Williams' marksman scores. If Williams wasn't as good as Vakarian, she was damn close.

  


Williams requested a shipboard posting, wanting to serve in space. Her request was denied with no explanation. She stayed groundside, but took any and all training available, including zero-gravity combat. After she was certified, she again requested a shipboard posting. Denied.

  


She even went to Hostile Environment Assault Training (HEAT) on Titan and worked with one of Shepard's old drill instructors, Gunnery Chief Ellison.

  


Ellison—a man not easily impressed—gave Williams a commendation and promoted her to squad leader after seeing her in field exercises. “Under the tutelage of Williams, the team made significant improvements in both weapons proficiency and combat techniques,” he wrote. He recommended that she be transferred to a shipboard posting. The request was denied, again, with no explanation.

  


Williams was eventually promoted to platoon leader of the 212. Her platoon _loved_ her. On all of her fitness reviews, platoon members were unanimous in their appreciation of her leadership. Private Nirali Bhatia had said Ashley was "tough , but fair" and praised Williams' team-building exercises.

  


Shepard wasn't sure how to reconcile the stellar record she had before her with the repeated denials for transfer. She also wasn't sure where Ashley's xenophobia came from. But she would find out.

 

**Zorah nar Rayya, Tali—Quarian Machinist**

 

Tali's resume genuinely made Shepard laugh. Calling it a “resume” wasn't really accurate, either. It was more like, “everything Tali has ever hacked.” The well-organized list of skills, systems, hardware, coding, and security that Tali had mastered numbered in the hundreds. Considering they were going up against the geth, Shepard couldn't have asked for a more useful ground team member.

 

Still, not all of their enemies were going to be the kind that Tali could hack. Outside of grenades, her combat skills weren't very strong.

 

It was getting late. Shepard placed the datapads on the desk and told the VI to wake her up at 0530. Turning out the light, she quickly fell asleep, pleased with the potential she saw in her team.

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The human officers of the Normandy have a pre-mission talk.

 

**Morning meeting**

 

At exactly 0600, Shepard walked into the comm room to find Chakwas, Alenko, Pressly, and Williams waiting for her. Joker, already on the bridge overseeing a final systems check, was there via comm.

 

“Good morning, everybody,” said Shepard, sipping her coffee. “As I'm sure you have all heard by now, Urdnot Wrex, Garrus Vakarian and Tali Zorah nar Rayya are joining us in the hunt for Saren. As of 0800 today, they will be full members of this crew.

 

“This is the one and only all-human meeting we will have on this mission. If you've got any concerns, issues, troubles, problems or suggestions about any of the aliens being on board this ship or part of the ground team, now is the time to bring it to my attention. You are all granted permission to speak freely.”

 

Dr. Chakwas spoke up right away. “Commander, I'll require significantly more dextro medical supplies and antibiotics, especially with a quarian on board. Suit ruptures are going to be a regular occurrence, given the sort of ground missions you will likely run. I took the liberty of putting together a list of what we ought to have on hand.”

 

“Good point. Make it happen. Invoke my Spectre status if you need to. Anything else, Doctor?”

 

“No, Commander.”

 

“All right. Who else?”

 

Nobody said anything. Shepard rolled her eyes. “Pressly. You look like you're trying to swallow a hairball. Have anything to say?”

 

Charles Pressly frowned for a moment, then nodded. “Yes, Commander, I do. I'm not comfortable having any non-humans on our ship. Saren attacked one of _our_ colonies. Humanity should be the ones to stop him. We don't need their help.”

 

“Yes, we do,” Shepard replied. “ _We_ didn't find the evidence that Saren had gone rogue, _Tali_ did. Wrex and Garrus both helped me find Tali. We wouldn't even be here if not for them. I'm not turning away a proven ally just because they aren't human.”

 

Pressly thought about it for a moment, then grudgingly nodded. “I suppose. Maybe I'm just stuck in the old ways. I don't trust them.”

 

“Do you trust me, Pressly?” Shepard raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“You know I do, Commander.” Pressly had been the navigator on the first Alliance reinforcements on Elysium. He'd seen first hand what Shepard could do. “If you trust them, then I won't let my feelings get in the way of my job.”

 

“Good man. Anyone else?”

 

Nobody said anything. “Williams? Any problems?”

 

“No, ma'am,” Ashley replied, but she wouldn't meet Shepard's eyes.

 

“All right. I won't make anybody hold hands and I'm not running a daycare. But like it or not, humanity is under a microscope for the duration of this mission. Do this right, and the galaxy takes us seriously. Fuck it up, and they write us off.

 

“Garrus, Tali and Wrex are part of the Normandy crew. That means they are subject to the same protections and protocols as every human on this ship. If you notice problems, bring it to my attention ASAP. That's a standing order. And Joker?”

 

“Yes, Commander?”

 

“Use your all-seeing powers for good, Flight Lieutenant.”

 

“Yes, Commander,” Joker replied. She could hear him smiling.

 

“Kaidan, I've sent you information on the non-human crew. Look it over, please. I want your recommendations on shift assignments by this time tomorrow.”

 

“Yes, ma' am.”

 

“Williams, we need to speak privately. Everybody else, dismissed.”

 

Once she was alone with the Gunnery Chief, Shepard said, “I want to discuss your service record but not until you explain to me your problem with the non-human crew.”

 

Ashley looked uncomfortable. “There's no problem, ma'am.”

 

“Don't bullshit me, Chief. Whatever it is, spit it out or I'll have you reassigned before we leave today.”

 

Ashley looked shocked for a second, then blurted out, “Do you really think it's a good idea to just let Vakarian and Wrex have access to the Normandy's systems? “

 

“I take it you don't?”

 

“No, I don't,” Ashley said. “I think their access to engineering, the weapons systems and the CIC should be restricted.”

 

“I'm not going to lock them in sleeper pods, Williams. They're members of my crew.”

 

“But this is the most advanced ship in the Alliance Navy. What if they take what they learn and send it to their own governments?”

 

“Williams, the Turians _already_ have all of the specs on the Normandy. They co-designed it. The Normandy's first Chief Engineer was a Turian named Octavio Tatum. He went back to Palaven right before Anderson took over.”

 

Ashley looked a little embarrassed. “Oh. I didn't know that, ma'am.”

 

Shepard nodded once. “As for Krogans—Krogans don't hold a grudge against Humans and even if they did, there's no Krogan government for Wrex to report to.”

 

Ashley still wasn't convinced. “OK, but are you sure that those two can be trusted?”

 

“I think the better question is, can I trust _you_? Do you know why I sent you on those errands yesterday when Vakarian joined us?” Ashley shook her head in the negative. “Because you walked around the Presidium comparing sentient beings to animals and bugs. If you didn't want to be around aliens, you shouldn't have asked to work in space. Bring your A-game or head back to the sticks.”

 

Well, she sure had Ashley's attention now. Her Gunnery Chief straightened up and said, “Yes, ma'am! It won't be a problem!”

 

“Good. Now—your service record. It's all brilliant evaluations and a string of crap assignments.”

 

Before she'd even finished speaking, Ashley was nodding her head. “It's because of my grandfather,” she said.

 

Now it was Shepard's turn to be confused. “Your grandfather?”

 

“He was General Williams,” Ashley said, watching Shepard carefully. Clearly, she was expecting a reaction of some sort.

 

“Okaaay,” Shepard said, “you're gonna have to clue me in, here.”

 

Ashley sighed and said, “He was the commanding officer at Shanxi.”

 

Oh. _That_ General Williams. The only human officer to have ever surrendered to an alien force.

 

During the First Contact War, General Williams commanded the Marine garrison at Shanxi when the Turians hit. The garrison was only lightly defended and quickly found themselves completely cut off from outside supplies.

 

The Turians employed their “total war” philosophy on Shanxi. They used orbital strikes to take out entire neighborhoods if it meant killing a small detachment of Marines that had gone out in search of food. Everybody in the garrison began to starve. Rather than watch his men die from hunger or risk the lives of the civilian population for a battle already lost, General Williams surrendered.

 

The Turians occupied the planet for a short time until they had their asses handed to them by the Alliance Second Fleet

 

By surrendering, General Williams saved countless lives. It also ended his military career. Although no charges were ever filed against him, he was labeled a coward and a traitor, and was eventually forced out of the military.

 

Shepard shook her head. “What does that have to do with you?”

 

“ _Everything_ , apparently,” Ashley spat. “My father served the Alliance faithfully. He was a hell of a soldier but he never rose above Serviceman Third Class. Years of service and not one single promotion!”

 

Ah. Political backlash. Ashley's service record suddenly made all too much sense. “Well, for what's it worth, I think your grandfather made the right decision. I'm sure not going to hold you back because of it.”

 

“Thank you, Commander.”

 

Shepard questioned Ashley about her family and background. In many ways, Ashley was Shepard's opposite. She had grown up in a loving, stable home. She still read her late father's favorite poetry. She was the oldest of four girls and very close to her sisters.

 

It made Shepard smile and a little bit jealous. Ashley had the kind of family that Shepard had always longed for. At least Ashley appreciated what she'd had growing up.

 

“So, down to business. Tali's tech skills are amazing but I have no idea if she can even shoot a gun in self-defense. Find out what she's capable of. Work with her today and give me an assessment by the end of second shift. The VI can set up the sim. Talk to Adams about the equipment.”

 

“Yes, ma'am.”

 

“And between you and me, it isn't just for combat that I want her able to protect herself. Tali's very young, very attractive and she's away from home for the first time. When we found her, she was being groped by one of Saren's thugs.”

 

Ashley narrowed her eyes and suddenly looked exactly like the terrifying big sister she had been. “I'll make sure of it, Commander.”

 

“Good.” Shepard doubted that Ashley's discomfort with other species would extend to Tali. “I'm also sending Vakarian your way. He's bringing some gun mods with him. You see anything that we can duplicate and use, do it.”

 

“Yes, ma'am,” Ashley said with no enthusiasm but no disdain, either. Shepard counted it as progress.

 

“Dismissed, Chief.”

 

She checked her messages on her omni-tool. Tali, Garrus and Wrex had all checked in. Chakwas was expecting her medical supplies within the next twenty minutes. And Joker had sent her two emails thanking her profusely for the coffee upgrade.

 

Maria Shepard had a ship, a crew, and a bad guy to catch. Something very much like happiness bubbled up in her. She left the comm room and headed up to the bridge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus tells his father he's running away to join the circus.

Garrus headed back to his apartment after he parted ways with Commander Shepard. His terminal was beeping as he walked in the door.

  
It was a vid call from Palaven. No doubt Pallin had notified Tenaxus Vakarian about his son's new career move. _Here we go_. He sat down at the terminal and hit “receive.”

  
“Dad.”

  
His father glared at him through the terminal screen. “Tell me you aren't abandoning a promising career at C-Sec to run around the galaxy with a Spectre.”

  
“I've abandoned a promising career at C-Sec to run around the galaxy with a Spectre,” Garrus said with poorly concealed glee.

  
Tenaxus Vakarian ground his mandibles against his face. He _loathed_ Spectres and everything they stood for. “I can't believe you're doing this. After everything we've discussed! The Spectres breed corruption, Garrus. It's the nature of the job.”

  
Tenaxus then launched into his oft-used “do-it-right-or-don't-do-it-at-all” speech. Garrus tuned it out in favor of making a list of what he needed to pack.

  
“...you are still too hotheaded for anybody's good, especially your own. You need to learn patience, not...be rewarded for rash decisions. The _last_ thing you need is encouragement to cut corners. Garrus, are you listening to me?”

  
“No.”

  
“Well, pay attention. I had a very illuminating conversation with Executor Pallin. He provided me with some background on this Commander Shepard. Are you aware of her past?”

  
“Yes.”

  
“You know she's a criminal, and you're going with her anyway?” Tenaxus was incredulous. “Garrus, she ran with a gang back on Earth. Pallin tells me that she only joined the Alliance to avoid murder charges. She sounds like a low-life. With your sense of justice, I'd think she's the last person you'd want to be associated with.”

 

“Right,” Garrus drawled, as he glanced up from his listmaking just long enough to let his dad know he didn't really have his son's full attention. Tenaxus Vakarian did not like to be ignored, something his son knew extremely well. “Did Pallin tell you who she killed?” he asked, going back to his list. “Or why?”

  
“It doesn't matter.”

  
“Motive _always_ matters. Isn't that what you used to teach at C-Sec?” Garrus stopped fiddling with his list and raised his eyeplates at his father. “ _Did_ Pallin tell you who Commander Shepard killed?”

  
“He said most of the information was classified, but he did say that she had used her biotics to shove her father out of a 5 th story window,” Tenaxus said.

  
“And isn't that just like Pallin, to mislead you with only a few of the classified facts instead of giving you the entire story,” Garrus said bitterly. He gave his father the details he had about Shepard's childhood. If Pallin was going to divulge a few classified facts, Garrus had no qualms about divulging the rest of them.

  
“That does put her actions in a different light,” Tenaxus admitted, “but it doesn't mean it still wasn't murder. She clearly has a history of taking the law into her own hands. Regardless, Pallin made it clear that Shepard was made a Spectre only because it was politically expedient.” Tenaxus ran his hands over his fringe and sighed, “Nobody expects her to succeed, Garrus. If anything, I expect they hope she fails. It would give them good reason to continue to deny the Alliance a seat on the Council.”

  
“Pallin and Sparatus are just pissed because Shepard proved me right about Saren.”

  
“Perhaps,” Tenaxus conceded, “but you need to understand the political realities, son. Her humanity will be used as an excuse to bring up old hostilities. When this mission is over, some people will hold this against you.”

  
Garrus finally put his list down. _Now_ his father had his full attention. “Is _that_ what bothers you, dad? That I'm going to work with humans?”

  
“Everything about this bothers me, Garrus. I don't hold any grudges against humanity. I worked with enough of them at C-Sec to know they have tremendous potential. But I'm not _at_ C-Sec anymore, son. Palaven isn't the Citadel.”

 

“Meaning you and Mom and Solana are going to deal with the fallout of me working with the Alliance.” _Crap_. He hadn't thought about that. “Dad, I'm sorry about that. Really, I am. But I can't let that stop me.”

  
“I didn't expect it would,” Tenaxus sighed. “You know you'll be the only turian on an all-human vessel.”

  
“Oh, don't worry," Garrus said, breezily waiving a hand, "I'll use my natural wit and charm to dazzle the galactic newcomers. Besides, I won't be the only non-human. The Commander is bringing a quarian and a krogan warlord onto her team.”

  
Tenaxus looked appalled. “A _krogan warlord_? Is this human insane?”

  
“No. No, she's not. She's the most level-headed person I've met in a long time,” he said soberly, remembering the uncomfortable lecture she'd given him earlier in the day. “She certainly saw right through me.”

  
“Then why did she ask you along?”

  
Garrus couldn't even be offended by the disbelieving tone of his father's voice. It was a fair question, given Garrus' history. “’Instinct,’ she said. I'll have to take her word for it, because I spent most of the day pissing her off.”

  
Tenaxus looked thoughtfully at his son for a moment, then said, “Tell me about the mission.”

  
Garrus gave his father a quick run-down of what he knew (and was allowed to say). When he was finished, his father looked troubled. “I don't like it. Everything about this mission is bizarre, even the parts that are unquestionably true. Just…” he paused for a long moment as if gathering his thoughts, “…act with honor. And don't forget who you are.”

  
“Yes, sir.” They said their good-byes and ended the call.

  
Packing took considerably longer than he had expected. The last time he'd packed a footlocker was the day he left the military to come work at C-Sec. Garrus was almost embarrassed to realize how much crap he'd accumulated over the last six years.

Sleep did not come easily that night. He was too excited about joining the _Normandy_.

  
* * *

  
Garrus arrived at the _Normandy_ docking bay an hour early. After getting through decontamination and having his 'tool linked up with the ship systems, Lieutenant Alenko joined him

  
"Shepard mentioned you may be bunking in the cargo bay?” Kaidan asked.

  
Garrus nodded. “She said I might find the officer's quarters to be confining.”

  
“That's putting it diplomatically. We have a few minutes before we're aweigh. C'mon, I'll show you around.”

  
The _Normandy_ was _beautiful_. Sleek, elegant, practical. Turian influence was everywhere he looked. The design of the CIC and the layout of the crew deck were so familiar that he kept expecting to see turians at the work stations.

  
The ground team assembled in the Comm Room at 0800. Shepard had everybody introduce themselves and explained their roles. Alenko had shift assignments. Williams ran the armory. Garrus would handle the Mako and work with Williams on mods. Tali was to report to Adams in engineering. Wrex would be in charge of biotics training.

  
Wrex grumbled, “I didn't sign up to teach snot-nosed whelps, Shepard.”

  
“You signed up to get _paid_. If you want Alliance credits to shoot bad guys, you'll tolerate a job title. Besides, the only other biotics on this ship are me and Alenko. If you see something we can do better, tell us.”

  
Wrex grunted, although whether it was in agreement or not, Garrus couldn't tell.

  
“We all have multiple talents,” Shepard continued, speaking to the team as a whole. “Learn from each other. Share your knowledge. The mission lives or dies with us. Any questions?”

  
There weren't any. “I have an open door policy, so come find me if you do. It'll take us a couple of days to get to Therum. Be productive. Dismissed.” The ground team hadn't even had time to file out of the CIC before Shepard gave a short pep talk over the comms, and then they were aweigh.

  
Garrus headed down to the Cargo Bay and stared awkwardly at the Mako, wondering what, exactly, the Commander expected him to do. The Hierarchy would have given him a long list of very exact and entirely pointless instructions. C-Sec would have done that, as well, and then added a list of what he was _not_ allowed to do.

  
The Commander's full instructions had been, “Vakarian. You're handling the Mako.”

  
He logged in and decided to run a basic systems check, half-expecting somebody to run over and yell at him. When nobody did, he popped the hatch on the Mako and crawled inside. Unlike the _Normandy_ , which had married the best of turian and human design, the Mako was cramped, utilitarian and very, very...Alliance.

  
An hour later, Garrus had memorized the basic layouts of all the Mako's systems and had the results of his systems check. He borrowed some tools from Engineer Adams and got to work.

  
He was going to calibrate _everything_.

  


 

  


  


 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard calls Garrus a, "mall cop."
> 
> I didn't run this one by my beta. She has enough real work in her life right now, so this chapter may be extra-buggy.
> 
> Update: Beta insisted she have a go, anyway. :p Any bugs that remain are, as always, my fault.

**Chapter 6**

Garrus opened the hatch of the Mako and staggered out into the garage of the _Normandy,_ followed by Shepard, Liara, and Tali. They all stood in exhausted silence as the decontamination process cycled up. Garrus dazedly stuck a gloved finger in one of the scorch-marked holes that now peppered the Mako's hull.

Once decontamination was complete, the door to the cargo bay opened up. Garrus crawled back into the Mako and drove it to its spot.

He came out to find Williams staring open-mouthed at the Mako. “Holy shit,” she said, as Garrus started stripping off his armor. “What happened down there?” He just shook his head, too tired to even formulate an answer.

**Six hours earlier.**

Five minutes. That's how long they'd been on the ground before Garrus realized that anything he'd ever known about conventional tank warfare was useless to him now.

His carefully sighted cannon fire went wide when Shepard used the Mako's thrusters to hop over incoming fire. “Dammit, Shepard!” he snapped. “How am I supposed to line up a shot?”

“Adapt or die, C-Sec!” she yelled. Then she plowed the Mako into an Armature, and knocked it into the lava.

“You did that on purpose!”

Shepard didn't argue with him. They quickly neutralized a dozen geth infantry. Then Shepard put the Mako into reverse, and carefully backed up over every single one.

Not just on purpose; Shepard was doing this for _fun_.

Once they had slaughtered everything that moved at the gatehouse, Garrus started to head towards the Mako. Then he realized that Shepard and Tali were looking through storage sheds and...taking things.

“Uh...Shepard? What are you doing?”

“What's it look like I'm doing?” She pocketed some ammo mods.

“It looks like you're looting.”

“Oh, _good eye_ , C-Sec,” she said. “No wonder you made detective so fast. Hey, Tali! Open the hatch, wouldja?”

Tali did. Shepard dumped several assault rifles into it. Then she and Tali stripped a geth Destroyer for parts.

Garrus stood there, slack-jawed as any shiny-plated recruit, and watched the light of humanity shamelessly ransack the compound.

“Something on your mind, Garrus?” Shepard asked, after he'd stared in shock for several minutes.

“This is chop-shop stuff, Shepard,” he said without thinking. She raised one eyebrow in that disconcerting way that humans had, that way that meant he'd said the wrong thing. He rushed to explain himself more fully. “I mean, look, you're the Star of Terra and this...” he gestured towards the ransacked compound, “...and with a _quarian...”_ crap, now both eyebrows were raised, “uh, and, uh, I just think you should consider...”

Shepard crossed both of her arms while Tali stood next to her in solidarity.

“Um, I mean...Shepard, just...this just _looks bad_. Um, Commander,” he finished lamely.

Words always were his strong suit.

“What he _means_ ,” said Tali, tartly, “is, 'show the rest of the galaxy that your people have learned some restraint.'”

“Well, thank you for that fascinating display of logic, Officer Vakarian,” Shepard said, her tone a bit frosty. “We're all done here, I think.”

They clambered back into the Mako. Shepard said nothing as she drove them out of the compound.

 _Tali_ , of course, was _totally_ on Shepard's side. “They're just geth _,_ Garrus _._ We're not taking family heirlooms.”

More geth were on the horizon, so he sighted the cannon and prayed Shepard would keep tires on the ground. “That compound wasn't geth, Tali. It was a mining facility. That stuff you just stole belonged to somebody.”

Shepard responded, “It belonged to a corporation whose employees have all been husked. Are you going to shoot that Armature, or do I need to run it over for you?”

He fired the cannon. The Armature exploded in a satisfying shower of sparks. “It's still stealing,” he said, trying to infuse some Tenaxus-style disappointment into his subharmonics. Shepard and Tali ignored him. 

Once they'd gone as far as they could go in the Mako, Shepard parked it, then turned to look at Garrus, and said, “Weren't you the one endlessly bitching about red tape and bureaucratic bullshit?”

“I was talking about needing fifteen kinds of permission to go after the bad guys, not looting on the job!” he said, rather hotly.

“We took weapons from our enemies' bodies and tech that had been abandoned. Now none of it can be used against us by Saren or his geth,” Shepard said, before turning to Tali. “How're we doing, Tali?”

“We're good, Shepard,” Tali said. The quarian, who had been fiddling with some of the newly acquired tech, tapped out a command on her omnitool. All of their personal shielding increased by 14%.

“Ooo, nice one,” Shepard said, giving Tali a quick fist bump.

Then she looked back at Garrus. “Surely all those years in C-Sec taught you the difference between taking abandoned property and actual stealing?” At his reluctant nod, she continued, “Then stop pretending it's the legality that really bothers you, because it isn't. You just find it distasteful.”

“It _is_ distasteful, Commander.” he replied. “I used to arrest people for less.”

“I'll bet you did,” Shepard muttered, as she opened the hatch, her movements sharp and angry. “Tell you what. When we're done here, I'll drop you off at the Citadel. Then you can go back to being the galaxy's best mall cop.”

Well. That just _hurt_.

Garrus got out of the Mako and mutely followed the two women, wondering how to salvage the mess he'd just made.

Then they ran into more geth. Garrus forgot all about the argument. He forgot about C-Sec and looting and laws. For thirty glorious minutes, his whole world was his rifle in his hands, and Shepard's voice in his ear.

Shepard fought differently in the open than she did in CQC. Singularities weren't as effective when they had so much ground to cover, but she used them to disrupt the running patterns of the geth. More impressive was her ability to Lift an enemy a few hundred meters or more into the air. Once the mass effect field dissipated, gravity did the rest, assuming Garrus hadn't shot the poor bastard through the head first.

Tali wasn't much of shot, but it hardly mattered, as long as she stayed at range. The quarian disabled shields, overloaded AI cores and hacked platforms into fighting against each other.

Eventually, they cleared the valley of every geth except for a single sniper up in a tower. It was too far away for either Shepard's biotics or Tali's omnitool, but every time Garrus tried to line up a shot, the sniper's laser sight would land between his eyes.

Shepard, safely out of the sniper's line of sight, studied the terrain. The ground was littered with synthetic carcasses. He knew _exactly_ what she was seeing.

“Vakarian, if I distract that sniper for a moment, will you have it?”

“As if you have to ask,” he scoffed.

“On three,” she'd said. She'd Lifted a dead geth into the air. “One, two,” then she Threw it directly into the sniper's tower.

In the half-second the sniper was distracted, Garrus shot it through the head. It dropped harmlessly onto the ground. “Headshot!” he'd crowed.

“Cocky bastard,” Shepard said, not bothering to hide her smile.

Tali giggled. “Well done, you two. When did you work that maneuver out?”

“Oh, you know. Just now, for the very first time,” Garrus purred, all of the awkwardness from the Mako long gone. He looked at Shepard, and decided he rather liked how her black eyes sparkled, and how her white teeth flashed against her dark skin. It was...almost charming, if very human.

Unfortunately, the camaraderie did not last long. The compound was dead silent as they approached. Something was jamming their scanners. Shepard held them back while she studied the area.

Garrus knew what she saw—a dozen places for the enemy to hide; ideal vantage points for snipers; enough crap on the ground that combat would be awkward and up close.

He was itching to sneak up into onto the catwalk and snipe anything that moved.

“You can't,” Shepard said, reading his thoughts. “I need you here.” She turned to Tali, her facial expression hard to read. “Tali, maintain a defensive position. Disrupt the geth as much as you can, but stay in cover, okay?”

“Okay, Shepard.”

She turned to him. “Your primary job is to keep Tali safe.”

He didn't like it. He knew he could be more effective as a sniper, not a guard. He reluctantly nodded his agreement.

“I'm mean it, Garrus,” Shepard said. She came up to him and placed a single finger on his chestplate, which effectively reminded him that he was still on her shit list. “Don't. Fuck. Around. No heroics. No going off script. If I tell you to take Tali and retreat? You take Tali and retreat. Got it?”

Garrus wondered how a person so short could make him feel so small. “Got it.”

She'd nodded. “Good. I'll take point. Move out, people.”

Shepard took two steps past the first barrier, and the compound exploded in noise.

An Armature and over a dozen geth ground troops opened fire, as a giant geth-lizard jumped onto Shepard.

The lizard-geth clawed at Shepard's face. Shepard let loose a blue-white biotic kick so powerful that the ground shook. The geth—which was clutching Shepard's pistol in its synthetic claw—flew all the way across the compound. It smashed into some boulders and did not move again.

One down.

Garrus hauled Tali behind some shipping crates. He could hear Shepard yelling, but her voice was coming from the other side of the compound, not his ear.

“Shepard's comms are out!” Tali started to panic.

“I know!” he yelled back, forcing his own panic down. “Keep shields up!” he told her. Then he planted himself between Tali and the rest of the compound, and started shooting.

Three down.

Tali threw grenades (four down), overloaded shields and hacked platforms. Five down. Garrus took as many as he could, hoping to make the enemy numbers more manageable. Seven down.

Without her pistol, Shepard had to rely solely on her biotics. Although she was still able to Lift geth into the air (nine down), she was in trouble, and had to move defensively. She darted around the compound almost randomly, trying to keep the Armature from getting a bead on her. Garrus had to pull half his shots for fear of hitting her.

She kept yelling something at him while circling her fist in the air, but he couldn't make it out over all of the noise.

“Tali! Can you understand what she's saying?” he called out.

Tali responded by shrieking as a second lizard-geth landed on top of their cover. She overloaded its shields as Garrus grabbed it by the throat, slammed it on the ground, and shot it at point blank range. Ten down.

He checked on Shepard again. Four more ground troops were closing in on the human, while the Armature shuffled around to face her. She rolled over to a downed geth and, with some difficulty, hefted its ridiculously large assault rifle into her human-sized arms. She opened fire.

Ammo sprayed wildly all over the yard. Garrus dropped back behind cover to avoid getting hit.

It would have been funny if he hadn't been so shit-scared. “Shepard's in trouble!” he said to Tali. “Be ready with grenades.” He chambered a high-explosive round, jumped on top of their crate and shot the Armature.

The Armature turtled around to face Garrus, and began to cycle up its weapons. Two of the geth troopers that had been harassing Shepard turned on Garrus and fired. His shields screamed in protest. Just before he dropped back behind the crate, he saw Shepard's singularity snag the two remaining troopers. (Twelve down)

“Grenade!” he shouted. Tali threw an incendiary over their crate. The last two troopers, the ones trying to kill Garrus, died in the explosion. (Fourteen down)

Shepard leapt over the crate opposite Garrus and Tali, sinking to safety just as the Armature fired its cannon. As soon as the cannon fire sizzled out, the three of them snapped up. Shepard Warped, Tali Overloaded, and Garrus fired another high explosive round. With a loud boom, the Armature disintegrated into a pile of scrap metal and wire.

“Keelah,” Tali whispered. She sank to the ground and put her head on her knees.

Shepard sprinted over to them. “Are you two okay?” As soon as they assured her they were, she opened her omnitool and started fiddling around with it. “My comms are fucked. My pistol is gone. My biotics are shit for the rest of the day.”

Her voice rose in volume as she spoke, each sentence a little louder than the last. She pointed at the lizard-geth that had attacked Tali. “What the hell is that thing?” she demanded.

“Um,” Tali said, before realizing it was a rhetorical question. Shepard stomped to the other end of the compound, muttering the entire time.

When Shepard found the lizard-geth that had attacked her, she picked up her gun and inspected it for a moment. Then she pointed to the corpse and hollered, “THAT FUCKER BROKE MY PISTOL!”

Garrus caught something, just the tiniest little thing. Shepard's hand, pointed at the synthetic carnage, was trembling.

His feet moved towards her without any thought on his part. He pulled out his own pistol and held it out, butt first. “Do you want to borrow mine, Commander? Or would you rather amuse us all by using one of those geth assault rifles again?”

Shepard let out a surprised laugh, so he continued. “Is that point-and-spray a technique something the Alliance teaches you humans in basic?”

“Oh, sure,” Shepard said, playing along. “That's day one. Requisition forms, ugly uniform, point-and-spray.”

“Then here,” he said, placing his pistol directly into her hand. “Do us all a favor. Just use mine.”

Tali wandered over and started working on Shepard's comms while Shepard sucked down the contents of a Bio-NRG nutrient pack. It turned her tongue blue, or, as Garrus said, “normal.”

Then he asked her, “Commander, during the firefight, you were going like this.” And he imitated Shepard's gesture of waving her upright fist in a circle. “Is that supposed to mean something?”

“It does, sorry, that's the Alliance hand-signal for 'retreat.' But neither of you are Alliance, so it was stupid of me to use it.”

Tali stopped what she was doing and looked up from her omni-tool. “But it's a good idea, Shepard. Comms go out by accident, like today, but sometimes you can't have them on to begin with. The Flotilla military has its own series of hand signals.”

“So does the Hierarchy,” Garrus said.

Shepard nodded thoughtfully, “We could put something together for the ground team of the _Normandy_.”

“Just make sure you include a signal for when you're about to fire a rifle,” Garrus teased. “What's the Alliance hand signal for, 'incoming friendly fire?'”

Tali gasped at Garrus' tone but Shepard just grinned and held up her middle finger. Garrus had worked far too long in C-Sec to not know what _that_ meant.

“Rude, Commander,” Garrus said.

“Wait. What does that mean?” Tali said, confused.

“It means, 'Fuck you,'” Shepard replied.

“Oh. Well. No wonder Garrus knows it.”

Once her comms were up and running, Shepard said, “OK, here's the plan. We're going to go into those tunnels and kill anything that isn't Benezia's daughter.” 

And so they fought their way to Dr. T'Soni (who was a living, breathing stereotype of an absent-minded genius) and then fought their way back out. In the process, they deployed a mining laser, battled a Krogan mercenary, and triggered a geological disturbance which brought the Prothean ruin down on their heads.

Now they were back on the _Normandy._  Garrus was bone tired. He would have much rather gone straight to bed, but they were all expected at the debrief. He stacked his armor in the cleaning unit and headed towards the elevator, along with Ashley and Wrex. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall of the elevator. 

“How did Tali do down there?” Williams asked him, interrupting his private thoughts.

Garrus opened his eyes. It took a second for his brain to catch up the the question. “Adequate, but only barely. She can hack geth. but if we'd been up against organics, she'd have been a huge liability. She needs more stopping power than her omni-tool and a grenade. Otherwise, she should only be used against synthetics.”

Williams nodded. “Thanks. I'll keep working with her.”

Wrex was watching the door of the elevator. After it opened and Williams walked out, he casually said, “You really pissed off Shepard.”

Garrus had completely forgotten about that. “Wait. How'd you know?” he asked.

“I was in the cockpit with that crippled pilot of hers. Heard the whole thing.”

Crap. _Crap_. The debrief went by in a blur. Shepard wasn't really going to make him leave, was she? Maybe she would just chew him out in front of everybody else.

 

By the end of the debrief, Liara had been invited to join the _Normandy_. Shepard wrapped it up by saying, “Dismissed, everyone. Vakarian, stay back, please. I need to talk to you.”

She didn't ask him to leave while she made her call to the Council. Sparatus berated Shepard for the loss of the Prothean ruin, which was _completely_ unfair.

Shepard hung up on them.

If she'd been a turian female, he'd have proposed marriage right then and there, no matter how inappropriate it would have been to make such a move on his commanding officer, especially one who was pissed at him.

Instead, he blurted out, “Shepard. _Please_. Don't order me to leave.”

“I'm not going to,” Shepard said. She sat in her chair and ran a hand through her short hair before she placed her elbows on her knees, and loosely clasped her hands together. “You're damn good under pressure, Vakarian. You kept Tali safe. You kept your head in a clusterfuck of a firefight. You very likely saved my ass. When we were in combat, you followed orders, and you didn't question my judgment.”

Garrus gave a sigh of relief that was so deep, it was almost a groan.

“But your problem isn't my judgment, is it?" Shepard continued. "You questioned my _motives_.”

Garrus ran through any response that would have served him in the military or C-Sec, and decided to jettison them all for the sake of honesty. “Permission to speak freely, Commander.”

“Granted.”

He shifted in his seat until he was mirroring her body language. “The sort of cop who loots is the sort of cop who plants evidence, or shakes down shop owners, or drinks on the job. I'm not perfect, but I'm _damned_ sure not Harkin.”

Shepard tilted her head, a small frown on her face. “No. You're not. You always seemed to be out for justice. Harkin was only ever out for Harkin.”

“He was,” Garrus agreed.

Shepard nodded, then said, “We aren't looting for our own personal gain. We took that stuff because we need any advantage we can get, and the Council isn't exactly funding us generously. Still...looting is the least of the sins I may commit on our way to Saren. Why did it bother you so much?”

“Because you're Commander Shepard!” It burst out of him a little louder than he'd wanted, but Shepard just gazed at him steadily, so he kept talking. “You're an N7, Shepard. Even the most xenophobic turian can't deny what you've accomplished in your career. But it isn't just that, it's that you stand up for what's right. Look at all of those people you saved during the Blitz. And that little girl you rescued from your foster father! You _always_ protect the innocent. To see you stripping that compound like some common thief...”

“How did you know about my foster father?” Shepard asked, her tone sharp.

 _Oh, crap_. “Um...I read the classified files C-Sec has on you. I had clearance, so...I looked.”

“Ah,” Shepard said quietly. She pinched the bridge of her nose with her eyes closed for just a long moment. Garrus was worried she was about to cry, but when she lowered her hand and looked at him, her eyes were dry.

“If you know my real background, you know I've done far worse things than looting.”

“You were a child, Shepard. You didn't have a choice.”

“The hell I didn't,” Shepard said. “I made a lot of choices. I didn't have to run the streets; I could have stayed in foster care. I didn't have to join the Reds, but I was good at stealing, and they offered protection. I didn't have to run drugs up and down the west coast of California and Mexico, but the money was good.

“And don't doubt for one second that I did _not_ have to shove a man out a window, to make sure that the last few minutes of his life were as terrifying as I could make them. I did that because I wanted to see him shit himself before I killed him.”

 

Shepard sighed. She looked tiny and exhausted and _sad_. “I'm not a good person, Garrus. I'm not a bad one, either. I'll never take food or medicine or anything from people that need it. I spent most of my childhood hungry, sick, or homeless. I won't do that to somebody else, at least not knowingly. But please, don't make me into something I'm not.”

“It's hard not to, you know. From the outside, it's like you're a vid superhero or something. You do all of these amazing things. You don't ever seem to doubt yourself. I mean, come on, Shepard, you just _hung up on the Council_. Do you have any idea how many big shots have wanted to do that, but are too afraid to?” Shepard gave him a wan, little smile but said nothing.

“I forget,” he said, pushing as much remorse and sincerity into his subharmonics as he could, “that you aren't much older than me. You took me on faith and I'm just making your job harder. I'm sorry, Shepard. The last thing I want to be is a decision you regret.”

Shepard stood up. So did he. She held out her hand. He reached for it, and she grasped his wrist in the manner of a turian greeting. They looked at each other for a long moment. Garrus wanted to say _something_ as he gazed at her, he just...wasn't sure what that something was.

“Apology accepted, Garrus.” She let go of his wrist, and together they walked out of the comm room.

“You're still a terrible shot,” he said.

“Pfft. Ammo is overrated. I killed, like, 75% the geth we faced just on my own.”

“A terrible shot _and_ a terrible liar. I am sure humanity's seat on the Council is all but assured.”

Shepard laughed and started to reply, but Pressly intercepted her. Garrus left her to it. He headed to the showers, grateful to finally wash the stink of battle off of himself. He ate a quick dinner and headed to bed.

Despite his exhaustion, he found himself going replaying the battles they'd had with the geth. It wasn't uncommon to have problems falling asleep after a firefight.

Then he thought about the about the feeling of five fingers clasped around his wrist. Moments later, he closed his eyes and fell deeply asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, after how many months of hoping that there would be more juice for this fic, I have finally conceded that this fic is complete. (I'd only ever intended it to be a few chapters looking at the very beginnings of Shepard and Garrus.) Whatever creative juice I have left in me is all being poured into "Half-Life."
> 
> Thank you, everybody, who read, commented, and gave kudos. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it all.


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